Some good critique advice (pretty much falling into my main “critique critique” — Remember, you’re helping them write their story, not writing your version of it.):
- This idea has been written before.
- Editors hate prologues.
- One-sentence paragraphs are grammatically incorrect and should never be used.
- I don’t like to wait for character information to be revealed. I want you to write important traits, like hair color and age, as soon as you introduce that character.
- I don’t like the word scarlet. Why can’t you just say what you mean and use red?
- I hate (talking animals) (vampires) (suicide bombers) (New Age rhetoric) etc. Delete that nonsense from your book.
- Your writing is too purple.
- You’ll never get this story published